Silence
by darkgirl3
Summary: It's silence between them after Andy dies for over a month until something else chances and the silence is finally broken.


**I Own Nothing**

**AN: I wrote this after re-watching the pilot episode and how Kelly and Matt were towards each other. I also hand wrote this while waiting on my new laptop. Had so many computer problems the last two years. So hoping the rest this year and next are better. **

**AN2: I don't know how many of these I'll come up with. I only have this one and one other one wrote out. Got other stories and Fandoms I'm working on. **

**Title: Silence**

**Characters: Matt and Kelly**

**Summary: It's silence between them after Andy dies for over a month until something else chances and the silence is finally broken.**

It was silence, almost deathly silence for the most part between them. Matt didn't know how it all got messed up that day. Andy was their friend, but he'd watched him die. He still couldn't remember how he'd even gotten off the ladder. He was sure that he'd climbed down his self, maybe one of his men had done it. He kept being blamed and he'd blamed Kelly right back. When they were at work it was shouting at each other; a knock out drag out screaming match for a week now. Before that it had been silence there too only death glares at the other. He shouldn't have let it go that far, but he'd needed for his anger and sadness to go somewhere.

At home was where the silence was at even worse. Shay and Andy had known the whole truth, but everyone else thought they were just living together with Shay. The three of them shared the apartment, but he shared a bed with Kelly. It wasn't just a bed though, it was so much more between them. It had been for three years going on four which made it hurt like hell the way things were going between them. His heart was being ripped out becuase he felt like he was losing the man he loved too.

It hurt even worse that Andy was gone because he was truly like a brother to him too. All they had been through and now Andy was just gone someone had to be blamed. He saw how bad it was getting to Kelly even when he'd claimed he slept like a baby. It was all lies because he knew in those few moments in the night when the silence got broken and they held each other. By morning they were back to being strangers almost not even looking at the other.

Matt had looked at Kelly so many days knowing there was more wrong. It wasn't just Andy dying, Shay and him were keeping something from him. He saw the flinches of pain Kelly's right arm and hand. He saw the way he got after a long day of shift. His face showed pain and he wished he'd tell him what was wrong. The silence between them was so loud that nothing could really drown it out. The only moments he knew that Kelly even still cared about him was the silent looks. There were also those quick brushes of their hands and the way he'd be asked without words before Kelly showed him what he still wanted in bed.

He hadn't even thought they'd still be having sex the way things were. It was the only thing that hadn't changed completely. He was the only one getting it though Kelly wouldn't let him near his ass now, but the sex was still so good. Even in all the hatred that he felt and he gave he couldn't put it into the sex. He didn't get to see Kelly's face now though when they had sex like before, but he felt that love in those silent moments as they had sex.

It was what had stopped him from walking out when it had gotten so bad. He'd had his bag packed ready to leave and say screw it all. He had been close to throwing four years of their love away, but he'd never left. He'd broken the silence when he'd shoved Kelly against their bedroom wall telling him he was leaving. He'd grabbed his bag to go planning on finding a place to move after their shift. He'd been so broken and he'd seen it on his best friend. He was still loved even when they had their screaming matches even if Kelly only showed it to him in bed. In his heart it had been just enough not to walk out and throw it away.

CF MK CF KM

At the apartment he cooked and Kelly at it, but in front of the others he snubbed it. He'd tried being nice and asking if he needed help, to talk to someone. He got his head bitten off, but he'd gladly do it again because Kelly had finally talked to him after days of nothing. He missed hearing his voice for the last month as it was. Three weeks of nothing until that week, but he'd still give anything to have Andy back and make it were it never happened. He'd known the drill though when he became a firefighter. Some times the ones you love don't come back or home.

Then the fire happened, Kelly was there saving him. He resuced him then he was almost falling again holding onto Kelly. He'd refused to let go not wanting to lose another person that he loved. Herman as already injured and they'd lost Andy a month ago coming up. He couldn't lose Kelly even if they were at odds. He loved him more than anyone he had in his life and Kelly loved him back. He had kept sliding on the floor as he'd helpd Kelly, but he had used all of his strenght to keep him there until help came. The look he'd gotten said so much when they were lying on the floor together when their eyes met. It might have been through helmets, but he'd seen those beautiful eyes looking back at him with love for the first time in almost a month.

There had also been the heated kiss that they had shared in Kelly's office after they had changed before he had left for the hosptial. He hadn't said anything out loud then, but he'd felt so much more in the kiss than when they had been having sex in the last month. Then there was the hospital itself when he hadn't thought Kelly would show up. The nod he had gotten from Kelly had meant almost as much as the kiss had. It had meant more than words or an apology because he'd known with that nod they were going to be okay.

They had stayed until Herman was out of surgery knowing he was going to be okay. Kelly had followed him back to the apartment. It wasn't deathly silence as he'd found his way back into Kelly after a month of only being allowed to take it. It had been wonderful to be able to look into Kelly's eyes again to see more than pain and anger there. It had been perfect and the love had been what he'd missed so much that had been shining back. It had taken almost dying his self for them to get their heads out of their asses. Kelly could have died too if he hadn't gotten help, but he'd known he would have gone down with him before he'd drop Kelly.

CF MK CF KM

"I can't lose you too. I almost lost you, Matt; both times." Kelly said finally breaking the silence with words. "You swore you'd always come back, but you almost broke it." He said looking into Matt's eyes.

Words from years ago came back to Matt. They had promised they would always come back to each other at the end of every shift, every call no matter what. The pain and sadness lingered, but he saw the love that was still there after he thought it might finally die out days ago. He hadn't wanted to think about having to really walk away. He hadn't taken the ring off his hand that was there. No one had ever asked him about it and he hadn't said anything. It had been three weeks before Andy had died that it had been placed there. They'd been supposed to make it legal the week after Andy had died.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry I didn't keep it and that I couldn't save Andy. I love you and I'll do my best to come back to you. Please no more silence besides the screaming at each other. I can't take it knowing you were that angry at me." Matt said hoping that it was truly over now.

"I love you too and I'm an ass at times. It wasn't your fault Matt, It was a freak accident that we can't change. I can't keep going like this either. Andy would have kicked my ass for what I've done to us. I'll never stop trying to come back to you, Matt." Kelly said back moving closer sealing his lips over Matt's.

Matt held onto Kelly kissing him back just as deeply as he was getting. He didn't want to ever let go of Kelly again or have something come between them again. He pulled away for air not wanting to, but needing to giving Kelly a smile that was reserved only for him. They were going to make it and he knew the silence was gone. He added his on apology for the things he had said and done. He'd never planned on really leaving even if he'd said it and felt it at times.

**THE END**

**Thanks in advanced for reviews and kudos. Hope you enjoyed.**


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